Many of the problems of marriage are derived from fleshy faults such as pride, ego, selfishness, rebellion and such like. But God is interested in perfecting your marriage, if you are willing to play your part in interceding for your partner and practice the principles of perfection. You may have a few rough stretches, but if you stay with it, God’s grace will bring you into a perfect marriage.
The greatest requirement for the home is UNITY. Unless there is unity in a home, Satan will enter into and destroy that home. Unity is the basis of the strength of the home. This is not a surface unity, but a unity of the Spirit. This unity comes as a result of mutual submission between the husband and wife in the fear of God. Unity of the Spirit recognizes that the final authority in the home is God and His word and not the husband nor the wife.
It is possible to disagree and still remain in the unity of the Spirit, if you have the right attitude. There is a great difference between disagreeing and being disagreeable, which is an attitude of heart. A husband and wife can disagree, even on principle, without disrupting the unity of the home. What happen is that the husband will make a final decision based on the Word of God and the wife submits to the Word of God which comes through her husband. As long as the heart attitude of the wife is correct, unity of the spirit is maintained and the peace in the home remains undisturbed. For the individual homes to be perfect, we must have and maintain hearts that are meek and humble.
Forgiveness is the first factor which is necessary for unity of the Spirit. We must learn to forgive one another. It is important to understand that forgiveness of another’s transgression should be done in obedience to the commandment of God to forgive, and not because the person deserves our forgiveness, or because we feel like forgiving the person. We are to forgive irrespective of our feelings at the time. There is no man who has never wronged another. The issue is not who is right and who is wrong, but let there be peace in the home. Whenever you try to fight for your own right you are already wrong and have opened the door to strife and every evil work. It is far better to forgive and commit the judgment to God, thereby keeping peace in the home.
Forgiveness is not an emotion. As a matter of fact your emotions may still be raw and edgy, but you make a decision of your will to forgive, saying so with your mouth, or, to your self in the heart.
Mutual Submission is the second factor for achieving unity of the spirit in a home. Through mutual submission in the fear of God, peace and unity is maintained in the home, thereby perfecting the marriage.
The third factor which is vital to maintaining unity of the spirit in the home is a wise communication. We need to understand that it is not every time that what is right and correct need to be verbalized. It is very wrong to condemn your wife or husband, even when you are right. There is a time for everything – even a time for speaking the truth, but always in love.
When your spouse is wrong, try to forgive, love and pray for him or her. Later, when the atmosphere is less prone to strife, you can then speak the truth in love, with wisdom given by the Spirit guarantees that your words will not engender more strife, but rather will break the bone of contention which may have arisen between you and your spouse. We need the wisdom of God to know what to say and when and how to speak – or when not to say anything at all!
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